What Kind of Boyfriend is he?
By Laura Lifshitz
You think you know a guy, but you don’t really…until you take a good look at his shades. Sure, his sunglasses won’t reveal how many women he’s had in a lifetime, his religion or his relationship with his mother (or will it?), but it will say a lot more about him than he cares to admit.
Of course, you won’t want to tell him that you’re privy to this sort of information, but you can thank us later and tell all your friends that you read it here first.
1- Is He Wearing These Types of Shades? The 3013, Sporty Guy
If he’s rocking these shades or anything similar, he’s a sporty guy!
He likes to get wet, dirty and sandy. Whether it’s the beach, a mudrun or the off-roads, expect this guy to be outdoorsy and also perhaps, carefree.
He’s a spontaneous sort, and very straightforward. Expect him to make minimal plans but when he does show up, you’re in for a treat. He’ll never BS you but he may give it to you so straight, it might hurt a little.
Are you interested in getting him to commit? He will if he really likes you, but it may take time convincing him and you’ll also have to show him that you won’t cramp his free-bird lifestyle.
2- If These Are His Sunglasses Of Choice, He’s Hip—Locust Avenue
Face facts: he’s on every “it list” and knows of every great band, movie, bar or trend. If you choose to date this guy, be aware that you’ll be running with a tight pack—him and his crew of hipsters and know-it all’s. Truly, he’s very charming and you can’t help but think how smart he looks in his sunglasses. And he is smart! He knows a lot and will enjoy showing that off. Be sure you can keep up with his mind and interesting tastes. He’ll have tried every cool fad before it was a fad, and he’ll have you opening your mind and perhaps, refining your tastes a bit.
If you’re not a foodie, you might be after a few dates with him and your music tastes will drastically change.
As far as his intentions with you well, he’s a romantic, so if he’s decided to invest any time in you, he’s bound to go over the top and dote on you in ways no one has before. If you don’t like a showy guy or are more low-key with your affection, well this guy won’t be for you. He likes to show and he likes to touch. Commitment is easy once he’s decided you’re the one so if he picks you, he will be all in, all 1,500% of him!
3- Are These Perched On His Forehead? Mr. Super Cool Wears Lake Street
Is this guy a bit too beautiful it’s surreal? Yes, if he’s wearing shades like the “Lake Street” style, you might fear that the mirror on the wall would tell you that “Damn, that boy is way too pretty!”
He’s a little chilly but somehow, so popular even with the frigid distance he can display. He’s successful but not overly showy, nor will he brag about his successes. He just knows that he has it together and if he doesn’t, he’ll never let on. As a bedmate, he will be low on the PDA but behind closed doors, will be a lot more wild than you had expected and trust me, he will perform!
As far as commitment and settling down…well if you’re looking to get married, sit back and relax because it’s going to take a very long time for this one to make that kind of move. He’s very strategic and deliberate and cautious. Don’t expect him to run off to Vegas with you any day now.
4- If These Shades Are His Fave, He’s A Party Boy—Surf Avenue
If you managed to get a date with him, we’ll be shocked if it was scheduled and not just “on the spot.” Most of the times, he’ll have people with him. Whether he’s twenty or forty, he’ll have some crew around him, depending on his season of life. He’s forgetful but fun, so you forgive him for some of his absentmindedness, and you like his laid-back ways. He’s easy to forgive and quick to forget, which makes him a nice guy to be involved with, but if you need a more grown-up or intense guy, you’ll find that he’s a sore disappointment.
His boyish charm is very sweet, but he’s also prone to being a bit commitment shy. He’s not a player or a jerk, but just that commitment seems a bit too intense. The best way to nail this guy down is to become his friend first. Then, you’re just naturally a part of his life and scenery. At that point once you become his crew, you’re golden.
5- If He Rocks These Glasses, He’s Solid As A Rock—Beacon Court
He won’t be the most complex guy around and he’s not going to whisk you off to some romantic paradise, but he is going to be dependable and available to you, which you want. Your mom will love him, almost more than she loves you, and he is most definitely, intelligent. Down-to-earth and understanding, he’s a patient guy and relatively unflustered.
He does commitment well and he will make his intentions known if that’s where he wants things to go. He is good at dating and so, he may have you feel as if you’re secure when he’s still just not sure he wants to be with just you. This doesn’t mean he’s a liar—no he’s not at all, but that he takes commitment so seriously that he takes his time. Any woman he chooses however will be one he views on a very serious level.
If you need a colorful guy who’s the life of the party, this isn’t your man, but if you want a guy who can balance a checkbook and fix stuff like nobody else’s business, he’s your man!
About Laura Lifshitz:
A pint-sized, battery-operated writer, voice-over actress, comedienne and single mother, Laura Lifshitz will work for chocolate. The former MTV personality and Columbia University graduate is currently writing about divorce, sex, women’s issues, fitness, parenting, marriage and more. Read more from Laura here.